As entrepreneurs, girlbosses, and creators, there’s going to come a time where we want to quit.
Throw in the towel, kick up our feet with a glass of pinot, and say ”enough is enough!” I know I’ve been in the I-want-to-quit stage more times than I can count. Most often, it’s difficult to see past it. It feels suffocating and encapsulating and all you want to do is hide. Turn off the laptop, delete Instagram, reply ‘no’ to every event, and just take a step back. But then, something will happen that brings it all back. The why, the essence of what you do. Why you’re needed.
Last year, I started down a path that didn’t have an ending. A new path that I was forging on my own, without anyone to guide me. It was terrifying, liberating, awful, freeing, and one big beautiful mess all at once. I had hustled my behind off through the fall laying the groundwork for this new journey, business, and life. Then the holidays hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn’t find the time to work on myself or my business, and everything kind of fell away. When the holiday rush was over, I didn’t feel like going back to the hustle. I fell back onto the path previously laid out before me. The one that everyone expected me to be on. It wasn’t until I was ready to call it quits altogether that I realized I’d been hiding from success. Hiding from progress, hiding from more.
Because the ‘more’ is the hard part, right? Those first few steps of making it on your own can feel like ”Oh yeah I got this, I’m awesome and totally know what I’m doing” . Then a little further down the path there’s a small hill you have climb. It may be tough, but you take it on, still on a new-beginning high. But ultimately, we can find ourselves in the thick of it, where the ground is rocky and all we can see is the steep uphill we have to endure.
That’s where I found myself. At the base of a cliff, looking up. Thinking there’s no earthly way I can begin to chip away at all the things that need to happen in my business and life that will get me to where I want to be. This is the most tempting place to quit, or take the easy way out.
After about a week of staring at that cliff, a friend called me. She had a quiver in her voice and told me she’s expecting her third baby. That it’s a total surprise, and she doesn’t know how she can possibly deal with this incredible change in her life. But then she said, “T hank goodness for your blog and your community. I’m going to need your encouragement now more than ever.”
Tears filled my eyes as I tried to comfort her. I realized that this cliff I was about to start climbing would indeed be the hardest one yet, but I had my friend standing next to me to go through it. And another behind her, and another and another. But most importantly, I realized I’m not doing this for me.
I climb these hills so that when I reach the top, I can look out and see how many lives I’ve touched. How many mamas I’ve encouraged, and how many of them have found each other as a result.
I dug around for the notebook I started when I first started this exciting adventure. I re-read my mission statement and the list of women I had written next to it asking to be a part of this community:
“Connection with other mamas facing the bold questions of life balance. You are so welcome here.”
I took a rest, and brushed the dirt off. This journey is a constant one, but every step gets me a little closer to the top, and closer to fulfilling my mission. Because it’s not time to quit, it’s time to climb.
Photos by: Eun Creative